I am deathly afraid of plateauing.
No matter what hobby I pick up my interest always wanes. It’s beyond annoying, and embarrassing to say the least.
With sewing I would get so excited about a design in my head but when it came to construction I would always give up when it came to inserting the zipper, or making a perfectly even hem. So now I have a suitcase full of half finished dresses and pants. All good ideas, but they don’t serve much purpose if you can’t wear any of it. I even went to school for it but it was at a community college where 25 designers were supposed to share one iron and fit 5 sewing machines per card table. All that with a teacher who broke down in a nervous fit whenever someone told her they didn’t fully understand her method of showing how to sew a welt seam. So with that I got my money back and figured I’d just teach myself which of course ended with my sewing machine being shoved in a closet.
Then there was skin care. I always wanted to know how shampoo and cleansers were made. I remember sitting in the bathtub when I was really young and had already read everything nearby so I turned to the backs of shampoo bottles. What were all these crazy ingredients?? It all seemed like Greek to me but I was determined to one day understand it all. And one day I did. I randomly came across a website that sold cetyl alcohol, cocamidopropyl betaine, peg-150 distearate and the like and even included “recipes” for different types of products. Several hundred dollars later I received my first shipment and set up shop in my kitchen. It really felt like cooking, maybe because I had never taken a chemistry class, but it was a lot of fun. Lots of mistakes at first but eventually I had my own shampoo, moisturizer, lip balm, shower gel, etc. And it all smelled so yummy! Obviously in this world the goal is to turn a hobby into a business so I crunched some numbers and found out I’d have to charge a LOT to break even, let alone make a profit. I knew my stuff was good but how was I going to convince people to shell out the same amount of money as they do for Aveda or Arbonne? Plus, I’m not a chemist so where are my credentials?
It ended up being just another expensive hobby but I reminded myself that at least I accomplished my goal of understanding every ingredient and its purpose on the back of shampoo bottles. So high five to seven year old me!
And then hair. Oh, hair! I’ve always colored and cut my own hair from a young age and whenever I did I would hear, “Why don’t you become a hairdresser??”
It got to the point of being so sick of hearing that question that I went and got a job as an assistant at a salon. And it did seem right up my alley, you get to dress up for work every day, listen to cool music, read gossip mags and generally make people happy and feel good about themselves. I went to school, finished, and….ummm….occasionally do my friends’ hair out of my house. Ok, so I haven’t completely given up on it, but I haven’t written my licensing exam and haven’t applied to any salons. I’ve made up different excuses as to why not but for right now I want to focus on Ellie and being a hands-on mom. Being a stylist means working 10 hour days, no ifs ands or buts. When Ellie starts school I will start something full time. At least I FINISHED school and that’s the first time I can actually say that! But am I passionate about hair? Do I ever lie awake at night dreaming up new hairstyles? No. Was I ever passionate about hair? Did I spend my childhood braiding my friends’ hair or playing beauty shop? No.
Ok, that ended up being a very long rant. But the point is I’m 26, I love pole dancing and I want to STICK WITH IT AND MAKE SOMETHING OF IT. FOR REAL.
I am able to recognize the first signs of loss of interest so I need to figure out ways to amp up the passion again. I think Pat losing interest has been a cause. He’s so busy with work that after carrying commercial grade treadmills up three flights of stairs (and then back down when the customer decides that wait, they actually want it in their basement) the last thing he wants to do is work out. No biggie, but I got a lot of joy out of seeing him progress.
Now I need a new goal. I’ve learned all these moves but have yet to actually do anything with them. I’ve always said I want to compete one day but how am I going to perform if I’ve never danced seamlessly to a three minute song? My studio holds a competition in February so I have six months to work on a routine. I celebrated my six month pole anniversary the other day and had always envisioned being able to choreograph a dance to celebrate that milestone. Maybe I’m just depressed that I never did that?
I’m in a funk and I need to get out of it!
Ok, ok, I don’t want to make it seem like I’m totally depressed about pole dancing becuase I’m not so here’s a fun new move we learned in class this week.
I absolutely love it! I love doing anything that requires fearlessness. Those moves are so satisfying. The way I look at it is even if I fall I’m probably not going to die. It may be painful but the pain should only last 10-20 seconds, and that’s not so bad is it? So, tune out the fear and just fucking go for it!